ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
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You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
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Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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