That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
this is an emotional support booty call
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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