I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
