so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
