We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
