sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
