My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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