we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
