yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So vagazzling was a success
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
