What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
