Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
