He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
