chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
smell my finger.
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He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
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How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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