I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
