he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
