I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
