As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
