I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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