just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
