But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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