Ambien. No doubt about it.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
