Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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