Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
