What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
