Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
