That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
