fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize