ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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