Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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