I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
this will be a night to untag.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
