We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
