sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
