i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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