Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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