my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
