he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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