Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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