what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
