Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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