I'm really into asian looking animals
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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