he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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