i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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