Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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