I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
only you would photoshop your dick
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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