how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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