Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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