you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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