My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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