I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i just had sex bonerless
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
