okay pat passed out under dana's car
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i love accidental penises.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
