My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i dont even know how to be here
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
