If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
