OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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