They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My vagina is officially offended.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
