You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
