Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
...so i touched it.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I am one with the molecules
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
