the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
