Who wears a wallet chain?!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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