let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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