sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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