When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
