I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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