Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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