he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
