I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
