Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
