What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My hand turned me down
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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