Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
